Silver and Gold: The Value of Connection Through Change

“Make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold.”

If you were ever a Girl Scout or Brownie like I was, you probably sang that song, maybe in rounds, maybe endlessly around a campfire, maybe with slightly out-of-tune harmonies that still warm your heart. I hadn’t thought about that little tune in years, but it floated back to me this week with surprising clarity. I had just returned from the Association of Change Management Professionals conference in Chicago, where I was surrounded by both silver and gold.

There were the “gold” friends, colleagues and companions I’ve known for years. The ones I’ve presented with, laughed with, grown alongside. Seeing them in person felt almost sacred. There’s a richness to those relationships, a deep connection that time and experience has forged like gold in fire. But then there were the “silver” friends too, the newer relationships formed in the last few years through online teaching and training cohorts, mentoring sessions, and shared LinkedIn messages. They may be newer, shinier, perhaps not yet weathered by time, but they’re just as meaningful.

As a child, I always felt a little sorry for the silver friends in the song. Silver sparkled, sure, but gold was rare, coveted. Gold had value. And yet as I reflected on the warmth I felt seeing both kinds of connections at the conference, those who’ve been part of my journey for decades and those whose journey with me has just begun, I realized that the song isn’t about a hierarchy. It’s about connection.

And in that realization lies something crucial about change.

Change Disrupts. Connection Stabilizes.

Change, by nature, disrupts. It shakes up systems, expectations, even relationships. It can pull us from routines, unsettle our identities, and challenge the way we relate to others and even ourselves. But what steadies us through all that movement is connection. Real, human, grounded connection.

It’s tempting to think of change as something external: new software, new leadership, new roles or workflows. But the heart of managing change successfully is recognizing that people are at the center of every shift. It’s people who adopt change. People who resist it. People who make it work…or don’t.

What connects people through those transitions? It’s not just communication plans or stakeholder maps. It’s shared experiences. Shared understanding. A sense of belonging. I think about the idea of a "shared reality." When we’ve gone through something together whether it’s a six-week training cohort, a challenging implementation, or simply the same morning commute for five years, we build a kind of relational shorthand. There’s a depth there. Even with someone you haven’t seen in years, there’s often a moment of relief: “Oh! You’re still you.” That’s the foundation of trust, and trust is the cornerstone of resilience.

“You’re Still You”

On my way to the conference, I had the chance to visit a dear friend I hadn’t seen in nearly fifteen years. We hugged tightly, pulled back, looked at each other, and both said the exact same thing: “You’re still you.” And it was such a relief.

How often do we crave that reassurance during times of change? When job descriptions evolve, when technology accelerates, when teams restructure it’s natural to feel untethered. But that simple affirmation “You’re still you” is powerful. It’s grounding. It reminds us that while the circumstances may change, we don’t lose the essence of who we are.

And that’s true for organizations too.

I often work with clients who are facing significant transformation. A department is being restructured. A legacy system is being replaced. A strategic direction is shifting. People worry: Will we still be the same? Will we still have the same values, the same camaraderie, the same sense of purpose?

Yes, if we prioritize connection.

When we focus on the human side of change, when we acknowledge each person’s experience and invite their input, when we reinforce shared identity and common goals we preserve that essential “us.” The external may shift, but the internal can remain intact and even grow stronger.

Bridging Silver and Gold

I believe the most successful change efforts are the ones that bridge silver and gold.

They honor the past, what has worked, what has connected us, what has made us “us.” And they embrace the new, the innovation, the fresh energy, the possibility of new relationships and experiences that haven’t yet had time to deepen.

This applies to people too. We need the gold relationships, the seasoned change champions, the long-time employees who carry institutional memory, the trusted colleagues who’ve weathered change before. But we also need the silver, the newcomers who ask bold questions, the ones who bring curiosity, who challenge assumptions simply by not sharing them yet.

Both are valuable. Together, they create a stronger network of resilience.

Practical Tips to Build Connection Through Change

So how can we actively cultivate this kind of connection in our change efforts? Here are a few strategies that have worked for me and for the clients I support:

1. Create Shared Experiences

Whether it's a pilot project, a collaborative workshop, or a storytelling session, giving people a chance to experience something together builds that foundation of shared reality.

2. Acknowledge the Past, Celebrate the Present

Take time to honor what’s come before. Let people mourn what’s being lost if needed. And also, make space to welcome the new…even if it’s uncertain.

3. Foster Peer Relationships

Encourage connection across silos, roles, and tenures. Mentorship programs, peer learning, and even informal meetups can help new and seasoned employees connect and learn from each other.

4. Reinforce Identity

Remind your teams of what makes your organization or unit unique. Core values, mission statements, and storytelling can help re-anchor people as they move through change.

5. Stay Human

Don’t underestimate the power of a personal check-in, a handwritten note, or a coffee chat. Relationships are built on small, repeated human moments.

Now I realize the song wasn’t about choosing silver or gold. It was about keeping both. Valuing both. Recognizing that connection is what makes either precious. Whether you’ve been in someone’s life or in their organization, for two decades or two weeks, it’s the depth of your shared experience that matters.

As change professionals, leaders, and team members, we have the opportunity as well as the responsibility to create and encourage those connections. To make people feel seen. To remind them: you’re still you. We’re still us.

And that, perhaps, is the most golden truth of all.