From Pushback to Partnership

Transforming Resistance into Readiness

Resistance to change is one of the most misunderstood parts of our work.

Too often, resistance is treated like a problem to eliminate, a barrier to push through, or proof that people are unwilling to adapt. When that happens, leaders and change practitioners can slip into frustration, defensiveness, or urgency. They start asking, “How do we get people on board?” when a better question might be, “What are people telling us that we need to understand?”

Resistance is not the enemy. It is information.

Every hesitation, every skeptical question, every eye roll in the back of the room, and even every quiet withdrawal offers insight into what people may be thinking, fearing, protecting, or struggling to make sense of. Resistance often points to the very places where change needs more clarity, more communication, or more trust.

I know this is true not only from years of leading organizational change, but from a much smaller and far more personal example from my own life. You see, I wanted to be a cheerleader in high school. My childhood Friday nights were spent at high school football games because my dad was a former player and huge fan of ANY game. I tried out for the squad as an eighth grader, freshman, and sophomore to no avail. I was discouraged but determined. Finally, I made the team my junior year of high school and I was elated! It wasn’t long though before I began to resist suggestions from the coach. My coach wanted me to wear a barrette to keep my hair out of my eyes. It was a simple request. Practical. Reasonable. Meant to help. But I resisted it.

At the time, it felt personal. It felt like an imposition. I did not experience it as a minor adjustment. I experienced it as someone telling me how I should look, and that made me dig in. In hindsight, it was such a small thing, and certainly not equivalent to the difficult, high-stakes changes people face in organizations every day. But it taught me something important. Resistance does not have to be logical or large to be real. Sometimes it is personal. Sometimes it is emotional. Sometimes it is tied to identity, pride, autonomy, or the simple desire to make our own choices.

And sometimes, if we are honest, it is self-defeating.

That small memory has stayed with me because it reminds me that resistance is rarely just about the thing itself. It is often about what the thing represents to the person being asked to change. Resistance is a natural response, not a character flaw. 

Change disrupts routines, expectations, relationships, confidence, and sometimes identity. Even positive change can create uncertainty. People may wonder whether they will still be successful, whether their input matters, whether leaders understand the impact on their day-to-day work, or whether they are being asked to carry one more burden without enough support.

That is not irrational, that is human. In fact, resistance is often a sign that people care. They care about doing good work. They care about their teams, their customers, their reputation, and their ability to succeed. They may also care deeply about preserving what already works. Sometimes what looks like pushback is actually commitment in disguise.

That is why change practitioners need to move from judgment to curiosity. Instead of labeling people as resistant, we need to ask what is driving their response. Are they confused? Overwhelmed? Excluded? Tired? Concerned about risk? Unclear on the why? Unsure of what will be different tomorrow than it is today? The answers matter because resistance rarely disappears just because we repeat the message more loudly.

Resistance usually has both psychological and organizational roots.

On the psychological side, people may fear loss of competence, loss of control, loss of status, or loss of familiarity. A new process may make a capable employee feel like a beginner again. A system rollout may trigger anxiety for someone who already feels stretched thin. A restructuring may raise concerns that are never fully voiced but quietly felt.

On the organizational side, resistance can point to real issues in how the change is being led. Perhaps communication has been vague. Perhaps leaders have not been visible enough. Perhaps training is coming too late. Perhaps managers have not been equipped to answer questions. Perhaps employees are being told what is changing without being shown what support will be available.

In other words, resistance often tells us as much about the change environment as it does about the individual. That is why it is so important not to personalize it. Resistance is not always a people problem. Sometimes it is a design problem, a communication problem, a leadership problem, or a pacing problem. Sometimes it is all four in a trench coat trying to pass as one issue.

One of the most helpful mindset shifts a change practitioner can make is this: resist the urge to win the argument and choose instead to understand the concern. That does not mean every concern should derail the change. It does mean that concern deserves to be explored before it is dismissed. Curiosity sounds like this:

Tell me more about what feels difficult here.

What are you most concerned this will affect?

What would help this feel more workable?

Where do you see the greatest risk?

What do you think leaders may be missing?

These questions create room for people to move from reaction to reflection. They also help us gather useful information that may never surface in a survey or project dashboard.

When we reframe resistance as useful information, we become better change leaders. We stop wasting energy trying to overpower human response and start using insight to guide better action. That shift takes discipline. It asks us to listen when we would rather correct. It asks us to explore what is underneath the objection instead of reacting to what is on the surface. It asks us to remember that readiness is not something we announce. It is something we build.

My old memory of resisting a barrette when I was finally cheering on the team, still makes me smile a little. Not because I was right, but because I was so determined over something that was meant to help me. It reminds me that resistance is often more tender, personal, and layered than it appears from the outside. People are not always resisting because they are difficult. Sometimes they are resisting because something about the request touches identity, comfort, control, or pride.

The next time resistance shows up, pause before calling it a problem. Ask what it is revealing, what people need or what the organization may have overlooked. Because when we treat resistance with empathy, curiosity, and skill, it can become one of the most valuable sources of insight in the entire change process.

And that is how we move from pushback to partnership.